Flash back to 2007

A young woman walked into the chemo suite today. I looked at her and said "you're new aren't you?" She didn't hear me. She was attractive, had hair about the same style as I did before it fell out the first time, she had a nice frame, but you could sense the fear in her.

I found out from the nurses this was her very first treatment. I never asked what kind of cancer she had, but did notice radiation markings on her chest, because she was wearing a v-neck t-shirt, so I'm assuming BC. She and her husband picked 2 seats way far away from the other patients. So every time I went to the rest room which was about 3 times I always smiled at her. I wanted so much to go talk to her, but since she picked the seats far from everyone I assumed she was in no mood to be chatty.

I remember my first treatment and the unknown, I had questions like, was this going to hurt, will I get sick right away? am I going to look like a really sick person ready to die? I remember I took a sedative before my first treatment, or it may have been a percoset, because I think my port was put in the day before my first treatment. Funny how you forget the details.

I remember wanting to be far away from everyone too. I don't remember why, I think I just didn't want to talk about it. My first couple of treatments I picked a private room that you draw a curtain for privacy in. This center does not offer private rooms and even if they did I would not choose to be isolated today.

I've learned that there is comfort and comaradery in talking to people who are going through the same thing you are.

If I see her again I will talk to her.